Lost or Found?
by chraezanty1317
Summary: As Thirteen continues in her downward spiral of self-destruction, she finds herself face to face with her past and a name that had meant surfing, working at a bar and leading an independent, happy life, once. Is all hope for her lost? Set after Lucky Thirteen (House 5x05) but not following any specific timeline etc. Marissa's death never happened.
1. The Party Ends, Real Life Begins

"Just give me the whole bottle."

The bartender, having become an expert in deciphering slurred speech over the years, obliged. The young brunette was not far from collapsing - there was no way she had not used any drugs on top of the alcohol over the course of the night. Since it was not in his job description to save people from themselves - quite the opposite, or so it seemed sometimes - he quickly moved on to the next customer's order.

* * *

The blinding, colorful lights almost made her head explode as she stared blankly into the distant, absent-mindedly cradling the vodka bottle in her lap. She took a decent swig while turning her bar stool around 180°, away from the bar, so she had a good overview of the club. There seemed to be a bachelorette party going on with women drinking too much left and right.

The brunette could easily have her pick of one-night stands. She _could _have taken up the random black-haired guy's offer, naturally; he had been hitting on her for about half an hour now and judging by the snippets of conversation she had actually caught he was a surfer. Good built, tanned skin, smug as hell. He had been getting her drunk for a while now before she had decided to not get him completely broke from treating her to shot after shot of absinthe and tequila and blown him off. If what House had said to her earlier was true or not, she was looking for a woman tonight.

A particular redhead caught her attention, as she looked at least as lost and wasted as the brunette. She thought she recognized the stranger from a commercial or fashion magazine - porcelain skin, natural make-up, tight mini skirt showing off her long legs, a tank top that left both her belly and an indecent amount of cleavage exposed. She would do.

Thirteen strode over to the woman she planned on screwing and kicking out of her apartment the next morning. "Hey.", she murmured, her voice husky.

The red-haired stranger looked up and from the way her cat-like eyes wandered approvingly over the other woman's body, the brunette could see that - at least in a drunken state - she swung both ways.

"I'm Remy.", Thirteen started again and traced her right hand lightly over the redhead's arm.

"Cristine.", the woman in question responded, her voice barely above a whisper. She was evidently turned on as the brunette let her right hand leave her arm and travel all the way down the side of her body to her thigh, fingertips brushing the seam of her incredibly short skirt. She watched as Kirsten - or was it Cristine? Not that it mattered - snatched the vodka bottle from her and emptied it.

She flashed a devilish grin at Thirteen. "How about another drink before we get outta here?"

* * *

Marissa Cooper was having the time of her life. For about the fifth time over the last few minutes, she hugged her best friend Summer.

"I still can't believe you're getting married!"

The bride-to-be only laughed and handed the blonde another beer. "I know! Soon, I'll forget all about leading a fun, careless life as a single and turn into a cliché wife complaining about her annoying and immature husband." The sarcasm was dripping from Summer's voice, but Marissa played along with her words and placed a mock-consoling hand on her shoulder. " You _are _entering into matrimony with _Seth_, after all."

After Summer's playful hit, which her friend skillfully dodged, their banter quickly turned into a walk down memory lane.

"Don't you kind of wish our highschool mates could be at your wedding and see what we've turned out to be? Bet you no one would have believed that you'd settle down at 21 and I'd be able to make a living from designing fashion!"

Summer rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "Yeah, I guess, but isn't basically everyone important invited?"

"Hm, not-", Marissa was making a show of leaning her head to one side and making an over-the-top impression of a contemplative cartoon character as she abruptly cried out, "Alex?"

The bride-to-be frowned. "Coop, I never really got to know her. Also, you never stayed in touch after she left-"

"No, no. I think I _saw_ Alex a second ago. Don't give me that look, Sum, I'm sober and totally serious."

"Are you certain it was her?" Her friend's tone of voice remained sceptical.

"Yes! Only she was a brunette." Sensing a comment her maid of honor was biting her tongue as not to spit out, she inquired, "Aaaand?"

Marissa sighed. "She's still hot."

* * *

Thirteen was pleasantly surprised when her alarm was shut off only a few seconds after she had been jolted out of sleep and developed the wish to hit it as to turn the annoying melody off. The she realized what it meant that she had not had to do it herself. Groggily she forced her eyes to open in time to see her latest one-night stand getting dressed. Thirteen propped herself up on one elbow and watched as the redhead turned around and pointed to the alarm clock, saying "You're welcome." before fastening her lacy bra and pulling the revealing top over her head. By her shy smile and body language it was clear that the stranger was embarrassed and had never slept with someone of the same sex before.

The brunette did not remember much from the previous night - it had all blurred together at some point. Stifling a yawn and following her one-night stand's example, she grabbed a fairly new pair of jeans and gathered other pieces of clothing to put on. "It's okay, you know.", she commented, her mind somewhere far away. She wasn't even sure to what she had been referring to, exactly, but the red-haired girl's mood instantly got better as she placed her hands on the other's hips from behind and kissed her cheek. Thirteen, feeling the side effects of post-drug use kicking in, disengaged herself from the embrace and wanted to subtly show her one-night stand the door as said woman got out her phone and asked, "Hey, Remy, what's your number? I wrote mine down on that piece of paper over there."

The doctor pinched the bridge of her nose in exasperation. She was certain that the night before had left her with red-rimmed, bloodshot eyes and she already craved an IV injection. _Have I really told her my name? _Looking at the redhead's expectant face, Thirteen responded: "Maybe I'll call you later."

"I just wondered if you're free today. We could do something toge-"

"Nope.", the brunette interrupted. "I have to go to work." She could not remember a one-night stand being this naive as to think they had a shot at having a serious relationship, at least not in a long time. Their motivation was usually similar to her own and they did not expect anything of her.

"What about this charity gala thing?", the stranger pressed, waving the aforementioned piece of paper in the air like a flag.

Thirteen cursed inwardly and saw it was indeed an invitation to the Princeton–Plainsboro Teaching Hospital's gala. She would have loved to tell her it was exclusively for staff members only if the invitation had not contradicted this, as "All supporters welcome" was printed at the bottom of the page. The brunette didn't have the heart to simply throw the redhead out - her almost painful belief in Remy being a good person as well as this having been her first time having acted on her attraction to women (Thirteen was familiar with the signs and her one-night stand was a prime example for all of them) made the doctor feel almost obliged to treat her like a human being instead of an inanimate object to be used at leisure.

"Remy?"

"Hm?" The woman in question realized she had been lost in thought and quickly collected herself. Glancing at the invitation with a phone number scribbled on it to recall her one-night stand's name, she said, "Sure, I guess you could come along for that one night." Her smile was genuine as Cristine - for that was her name, she repeated over and over in her mind so it would stick - went over to and hugged her in excitement. "Cool! I'll definitely be there. You know how to contact me." The redhead winked at her and after sharing a brief kiss with a surprised Thirteen, she went out of the door with a spring in her step.

Shaking her head as if that would make her confusion and hangover disappear, the brunette doctor's eye was caught by her clock. She cursed, having showered and sprinted to her car in next to no time. Not even driving 100 miles per hour through alleys where the limit was set at 50 did not help her - she was still going to be late.

Thirteen groaned, aware of the awful day ahead of her. House would not stop making suggestive remarks and eerily accurate guesses as to where and how she had spent the night the whole day, as was expected of him.

* * *

Marissa and Summer were sitting at the breakfast table with the latter struggling to keep her face from hitting her coffee's surface. They were hardly conscious - yet without a hangover, which was a nice experience for once - and would have fallen asleep then and there, if Cristine had not torn open the door. Their friend did not even attempt to sneak in as she practically danced across the kitchen. "How ya doin'?", she asked cheerily.

Summer mumbled something unintelligible. Marissa settled for staring at the bridesmaid they had met in college a couple of months ago with the best _what the hell? _look she could manage.

"Last night I had the most fun a person could have, ever.", the redhead announced.

The maid of honor calmly sipped her coffee. "Please tell me you laid off extasy."

Cristine snorted. "Of course, I'm not stupid. No, I met someone." Having told the basic outline of her story she had managed to fully wake up both of her friends.

"Hang on a second. So, you're telling me you had a one-night stand with some chick? The same one you're going to a random ball with? You don't even know her last name!"

Cristine shrugged, obviously not very concerned. "You're coming with me tonight, of course. You'll absolutely love her."

Marissa tried to dampen her enthusiasm. "Why would we do that? Be careful, Cris, you don't even know her! You were totally drunk. For all you know she might be a notorious criminal on the run."

"Be that as it may... pretty please?"

Summer and Marissa exchanged a look and nodded in mutual understanding. They could not possibly prevent a stranger from breaking their friend's heart, but the least they could do was be there when she needed comfort. "So, I assume we're going shopping?"


	2. Chapter 2: Same as Before

"Thirteen!"

Remy Hadley kept her eyes fixed on the button she had just pressed and prayed to a god she didn't believe in that the elevator would close before her obnoxious boss reached her. Luck failed her as House managed to put his cane between the closing doors. She cursed inwardly and concentrated on keeping her poker face.

"That's not nice of you, making a cripple run to the opposite end of a corridor just because you don't want to tell me who you're going to take to the gala as a date: Spencer 2.0 from last night or Cameron?"

She gritted her teeth. "You know perfectly well Allison's straight. Also, how do you wanna know I slept with a girl last night? I could have realized the error of my self-destructive ways and turned my life around. Staying at home with a good book and a glass of red wine, you know."

House stepped into the elevator and grinned. "We both know that's never gonna happen. I for one think it's awesome 'cause as long as you keep on dragging random women into your bed and there's a chance they end up here, I find out more about you."

"I suppose I could remind you of my file lying around somewhere in the archive, but..."

They had arrived at the second floor and House stepped out of the elevator. "Common, organized data is boring."

Thirteen glanced at her clock and sighed. Six more hours to go until she could eat something and attend the dreaded gala. She hoped Cristine would change her mind over the course of the evening concerning her tagging along.

"I expect some girl-on-girl action tonight! I hope she's hot.", House commented as he walked away from her. The brunette ignored him and started her search for an empty examination room where she could perform her IV to have her hangover subside.

* * *

Marissa found herself looking into the mirror, her face distorted into a grimace of moodiness. Finishing her daily make-up with a touch of rouge, she asked herself for the millionth time why she had agreed to this. Nonetheless, she had put on her long indigo ball gown and braided her hair. With the help of pins, hairspray and Summer (who had chosen a deep purple, short dress) it still managed to look elegant.

Both women were convinced their efforts had been worthwhile as they watched Cristine pacing in the living room. Her friend wore a crimson red gown clinging to her slender frame and her red hair had been curled. She had been charged up since the morning, appearing not to hear the assurances that she looked gorgeous, and it was all Marissa could do to not question her.

The three of them found themselves in front of the PPTH and entered the building, gawking at the sheer size of it. New Jersey was proud of this hospital, claiming it was one of the world's best, and the women were ready to suspense disbelief at that.

By the time they had arrived, the celebration was in full swing. Not knowing anyone and with Remy nowhere to be seen - Summer shot her maid of honor doubtful glances, but Marissa signalled her to keep her mouth shut as to not upset Cristine - they settled for the bar and ordered a glass of wine each. _At least the drinks are free_, Marissa thought.

Suddenly, Cristine rose from her seat and purposefully walked of into the crowd. "Where the hell she's went off to now?" Summer looked like she was talking to herself.

"I don-" Marissa wanted to answer as she spotted her friend among the many doctors and staff members. Her mouth fell open and she could only point towards Cristine as she was too busy picking up her jaw from the floor to form words, save coherent sentences.

Summer followed the suggestion and her eyes widened. "Oh my god! Alex?"

Her very loud cry of shock seemed to be so loud as to reach the woman in question, because Cristine and their acquaintance from the old days in the O.C. took off in their direction and made themselves comfortable on a nearby sofa. Cristine was positively glowing and had a possessive arm wrapped around Alex's shoulder, which the latter did not seem to enjoy. _Maybe that's just me thinking, though._

"Hi. Marissa, Summer.", Alex greeted them politely, if distanced.

"I- How- What- You're a doctor?", Summer burst out, keeping a death grip on her wine glass to keep herself from asking about Cristine's Remy.

The brunette smiled. "Certainly looks like it. I'd advise you to avoid Dr. House, just in case you might want to wander around to get to know people, because this is not the event to do it."

Cristine made the impression of watching a tennis match, her head whipping from facing her friends to Thirteen. "Remy? Why-"

"Oh, let me explain.", the young doctor said. "I legally changed my name when I moved her and started attending med school."

"Why...?", Marissa asked hesitantly, still in shock about having been right in spotting Alex. _In a way._ She wasn't sure what she was asking an explanation for: the physical and legal changes, not staying in touch with anyone from the O.C. so she might as well have been dead without Marissa having ever known, or the fact that she had slept with her friend.

"It seemed convenient at the time. Dropping out of highschool at seventeen doesn't look too good on a med student's resumé, don't you think?"

Cristine had relaxed and was eyeing Alex - _Remy_, Marissa reminded herself - with pure admiration in her eyes. Marissa felt her stomach sink and did not quite know the reason.

"It's awesome to have a ridiculously smart girlfriend.", Cristine commented. Three heads turned towards her sharply.

* * *

_Girlfriend?_

Thirteen felt like someone had just dropped a bucket of ice cubes on her. It took all of her self-control to not abandon her personal charity case in the form of her one-night stand right then and there. Somehow she managed to plaster a friendly smile on her face as she felt Cristine's arm around her shoulders tighten its grip. Keeping up the happy facade, she glanced at Marissa, who was keeping her head down with her blonde hair obscuring her face.

Remy closed her eyes for a brief moment and took a deep breath. Flashes of pink laundry, a heart-shaped necklace, a bonfire and the beach during the change of the tides came to mind. Waves of nostalgia swept over her and she had trouble following the ongoing conversation. She could not help but notice that Marissa - who had barely changed over the years, still armed with designer clothes and an irresistible smile - only spoke reluctantly as well, avoiding the doctor's gaze. She frowned. _What's going on with her?_

"Cris, this is our song! Come on!" Thirteen was brought back to reality as Summer took her "girlfriend"'s hand and practically dragged her on the dance floor - Cristine had no chance of escaping. Remy completely missed the bride-to-be pointedly glaring at Marissa, who seemed grateful.

Awkward silence settled over the couch as Thirteen found herself alone with her ex. Both were on the verge of saying something, but none brought up the necessary courage until the brunette gently asked: "So, how's life treating you?"

Marissa shrugged, secretly relieved at the easy to answer question. "Good. You?" After a pause, she added, "Ryan and I didn't work out. We got together the day after you were gone for good and broke up about a month later."

Remy nodded in acknowledgement and ordered two mojitos from the bar just to keep up the appearance of normality and occupy her hands to stop them from nervously combing through her hair. Sipping one drink and giving the other to her old girlfriend, she felt the burning need to ask for the reason for their breakup. _On second thought, maybe that doesn't matter. Just matters that they're not gonna be together forever after all._

She said the politically correct thing as a reaction to such news. "I'm sorry."

"You're not." Marissa laughed and shook her head, realization hitting her as to how strange the situation she was in really was. "You always hated Ryan."

Thirteen shrugged, seeing no point in denial. "Guilty as charged." She contemplated asking if her ex had met someone else in the meantime, simply to have a topic for small talk, but brushed the thought aside. She did not want to know.

"You seem to be doing alright." For a second the brunette felt sure that her ex's voice carried an accusatory tone. It took a minute for the shame to sink in and her to understand that the blonde was talking about Cristine.

"I... it honestly wasn't supposed to go down like that. I did not even have the slightest doubt about never seeing her again until she brought up the gala." Thirteen was suppressing the urge to curl up into the fetal position and cry about how the redhead had practically held a gun to her head until she agreed to the date when she recalled something very important. _Marissa's not my girlfriend anymore, so there's absolutely no reason for me to be embarrassed I happened to pick up her friend yesterday. It's not my problem if Cristine is naive and stupid and doesn't get that I want her gone. I don't have to justify my actions._

The doctor held her head up proudly, looking the blonde straight in the eye which appeared to make her uncomfortable enough to have the image of an insect squirming under the lense of a microscope briefly flash through Remy's mind.

"Hey there.", a curiously familiar voice purred next to her ear, making her body go rigid. The doctor realised she knew the woman even without seeing her - Spencer, the patient who turned out not to have a disease drastically shortening her life after all. Unlike Thirteen.

Marissa momentarily forgotten, the brunette focused on Spencer. "What are you doing here? Still partying till three a.m. every night, only now you don't feel tired?"

Her former patient rolled her eyes. "Sorry I'm not going to die, for the billionth time, okay? You didn't keep in touch, Remy. Thought you'd wanna better your score."

She ignored the flirtatious smile. "We've been through this. Why are you still hanging around House? You look healthy to me."

Spencer rolled her eyes, knowing a hopeless case when she saw one. "Have fun, you guys.", trilling the 'fun' and clearly checking Marissa out as she walked away.

Thirteen closed her eyes, exhaled and wondered how much time had passed since Summer had conveniently dragged Cristine away when her ex raised her voice again. It seemed like an eternity.

"Dealing with an ex after not seeing them for some time sucks, I feel ya." The sarcasm was dripping from Marissa's voice, but as Remy opened her eyes again and looked into her green ones she thought she recognised the girl she had fallen for long ago. Neither of them could help but biting their bottom lip before finally giving into a laughing fit. Any awkwardness had vanished and soon they found themselves in the middle of a drinking contest with typically prim and proper doctors cheering them on left and right.

A certain doctor with a cane deep in conversation with their respective companions completely escaped their notice.

* * *

"Who do we have here? Slutty bisexual party girl? And no, Thirteen, I don't mean you."

Remy kept her calm, having had more than enough time to get used to House. Marissa, however, spit out her drink and snarled. "You just made me lose the drinking contest, jackass!"

"Why'd you think you were the one addressed?" House was watching her with electric blue eyes, his interest clearly piqued.

Marissa remained unfazed. "I didn't. You simply scared the hell outta me, sneaking up from behind like that. And who's Thirteen anyway?"

He nodded towards the brunette, twirled his cane and walked away, throwing "Discuss. I expect heartfelt confessions and tears." over his shoulder as he rejoined Wilson and the rest of his team at one of the tables.

By the time Marissa had opened her mouth to bombard her ex with questions, Summer and Cristine had appeared out of thin air. Summer, sensing the tension, loudly announced, "I'm getting married!"

The only one present who had not already known turned to her. "Congratulations! On gosh, I never would've thought... wow. Let me guess: Seth? _Really_?"

Remy enveloped her in a spontaneous hug, honestly happy for them. She was glad her former boyfriend had found someone who was willing to put up with his little quirks, only having heard nice things said about Summer. _But then again, my only source was Marissa. I've barely spoken two words to Summer in my life._

She was brought up to date - she heard the whole story of her old friends (_are old friends what they are, exactly?_) moving to New Jersey and the start of their new life. College, gossip and a few inside jokes here and there served to make the brunette relax.

Cristine snorted with annoyance. "Back on track, people. The million dollar question is: Who is Thirteen?"

"I concur.", the doctor thought she heard her ex say, but she could not be sure.

Sighing, the woman in question spoke up. "It's simply a nickname that has stuck. House preferred to call all applicants for the job by their numbers because he's a misanthropic drug addict with serious issues who loves to stick his nose into other people's business. Three guesses as to what my number was. I don't see you guys' problem."

Her red-haired one-night stand nodded. "What about the woman you spoke to earlier? Your boss mentioned something about you sleeping around. What about me?"

Thirteen was running out of patience for her personal charity case. "Whatever gave you the impression you were my girlfriend? My motives were pretty clear, staring with getting laid and ending with both of us going our separate ways carrying on with our lives. Nothing more, nothing less."

"I won't dignify this with a reply.", Cristine contradictorily hissed and had stormed off. Summer followed her in silence, feeling more and more like an annoying supporting character in a Shakespeare play while the audience was getting ready to throw rotten fruit at her if she didn't get off-stage soon to give the protagonists some space.

"You've changed.", Marissa remarked quietly.

Remy shrugged. "I guess in hindsight I could blame the alcohol, but it's a lot more likely that I'm acting like a total bitch. I didn't promise her anything, though. I'm sorry she interpreted that wrong, but that's on her. What do you expect from a drunken stranger who picks you up at a bar?"

Marissa didn't have any insight to offer, helpful or otherwise. "Thirteen..." She tasted the word on her tongue like exotic wine, exploring it as if it had gained a new meaning. "To hell with it. While we're here - tipsy, too - wanna dance with me?"

The brunette frowned. "Maybe my definition of 'friend' is a faulty one, but aren't you supposed to side with Cristine here and hate my guts?"

"To be perfectly clear, I don't think what you did was brilliant and of course it sucks that Cristine got her heart broken. But you two clearly wouldn't have worked out either way, so I suppose it's better that way in the long run. At least now she's reminded that there _are _manipulative predators out there. She'll be devastated for a while, but it would hurt a lot more if she had known it was a relationship she had invested everything in and you'd have dumped her. She can lay full blame on you at this point.", Marissa said. The seriousness of her comment was destroyed as she was gripped by a giggling fit. "Sorry, I haven't drunk this much for years. Wanna take up my offer of a dance or not?"

"Thanks for making me out to be a cautionary tale." Thirteen grinned. "And sure, one doesn't get a chance to dance with a bombshell like you every day." _Which is a blatant lie. Considering this _is _Marissa, though, _that _may be the lie. _

All problems wiped from her mind for the time being, she grabbed the blonde's hand and strode over to the almost-empty dance floor. They had been expecting catchy and lively tunes and were caught off guard by a song most fit for slowdancing put on.

Marissa watched Remy standing there, undecided as to how she should proceed, and felt a surge of affection rush through her. She put her hands on the brunette's hips and leaned her head against her shoulder, closing her eyes and reveling the moment. She felt the other woman's arms wrap around her neck and felt warm breath on the side of her face as her former girlfriend whispered, "Thank you for still being here. Despite everything going on, I had a lot of fun this evening. I missed this. Talking, laughing, beating you at a drinking contest." Marissa could sense the doctor's grin.

The blonde opened her eyes again and faced her. "I owe you that, in a way." Out of the blue, one of Spencer's comments sprang to her mind as she beheld Remy's expression that had become unreadable. "By the way, what did that woman mean when she apologized for not dy-"

Her flow of words was cut off by Thirteen moving her face closer to hers, pausing as Marissa's breath caught in her throat. The brunette was so close that she could have counted the freckle on her face, if she'd had any. The new hair color somehow made her even more beautiful.

Aware of every one of her actions, Marissa met Remy halfway and they kissed with Rachael Yamagata's _Reason Why_ softly playing on.


End file.
